What’s That On Your Head?

Very important things I learned this week: My hair can hold a finger-wave style of the 1920s and 30s (the jury is still out on whether this is an attractive option or not), and my body was not meant to wear dresses from the 1940s and 50s.

Why all this retro talk? Long story short, our favorite Akron haunt, Lockview Lounge, celebrated its two-year anniversary on Saturday night with a “Fall Formal” event (a.k.a. adult prom). Dave and I were probably among Lockview’s first customers two years ago when they closed the vaunted music venue, the Lime Spider, and re-opened the space as a restaraunt and bar serving gourmet grilled cheese, salads, and apps. Within a few months of opening, we quickly worked our way through their nine grilled cheese choices and just as quickly became regulars. When they announced that the Fall Formal would include a chance to get all gussied up as well as the unveiling of some new menu items, we couldn’t resist the invitation.

Dave immediately decided he would wear his red velvet smoking jacket accompanied by a white shirt, skinny tie, and semi-retro black plastic glasses. Naturally, I immediately decided I needed a new outfit. Going vintage felt like the best option. A friend and I hit a few vintage shops in Cleveland including Chelsea’s Closet and The Cleveland Shop. In my imagination, I was going to find the perfect dress for under $50 and I was going to be transformed into one of the fabulously coiffed women of Mad Men. Christina Hendricks would have nothing on me. After trying on armloads of dresses, it became clear that my body shape was neither Hendricks-esque or vintage-esque. In fact, it was more like bummer-esque because nothing fit. It was either too tight, too big, too long. Who were these freakish women with big chests and no hips? I can suck it in with the best of them and my waist isn’t as tiny as Vera-Ellen in White Christmas but come on! These dresses were like a size 12 on top and a size 2 on the bottom. No wonder my mom used to complain about her prom dresses!

I re-racked the dresses and searched for a consolation prize. I spied a pair of super-retro maroon spectator pumps — made in Paris, thanks — for $25 and a scarf for $6. But, but, but I wasn’t ready to give up the dream of being the next Rita Hayworth or Vivien Leigh.

With 12 hours to go before the main event, I scheduled a much-needed hair appointment, mainly to get my grey all good and covered up but also figuring I could get my hairstylist to do the maddening chore of straightening my hair. I mentioned the Lockview event and she grew quiet as she stared at my hair. I thought maybe she was staring because my hair was in its usual shambles of knotty curls but then she asked with a note of intrigue in her voice, “do you have extra time this morning?” Sure, I told her, adding that my only plan after the haircut was to scour a couple of the vintage shops in Cuyahoga Falls.

“You need finger waves,” she said. ”We must do finger waves.”

Once I said I was game to try it, she called for reinforcements. Another stylist commandeered the right side of my head while my stylist worked on the left. They pulled and pinched and pinned until my head was filled with metal clips. Surely, women back in the day did not go through this much trouble for these things called finger waves. Maybe my hair was like my body — rejecting any semblance of retro styles.

Then they set me under the big old dryer and I read Vogue magazine (where I found several celebrities like Christina Aguilera and Charlize Theron sporting finger waves) and prayed that I’d have hair left when the dryer stopped. When my hair was done cooking, they pulled the pins out and wah-lah, Helmet Hair!!!

Remember those craft projects that required three coats of shellac? My hair was now a craft project and those finger waves weren’t going to move any time soon. Women in the salon were smiling, saying “my grandma used to wear her hair like that.” Hmmmm…a compliment? I wasn’t so sure.

With about 8 hours left, I visited the vintage shops in the Falls and tried on more dresses to no avail. It was clear my body shape wasn’t going to change, no matter how much I shoved and shifted and shimmied into these dresses. So I did what I always do when clothes aren’t cooperating — I searched for hats and shoes that would match the long velvet skirt and the beige quasi-vintage sweater I already had at home. 

I found two awesome hats — an oversized cream-colored pillbox with sequins and netting and a wide-brimmed wool black hat with a grosgain bow in the front. Hats meant that all of the hard work on my finger-wave helmet would be lost, but they were too good to pass up at $12 each. Oh, and there was a short camel-colored coat with a furry leopard-print collar and big leopard-print buttons for $25. Who can say no to leopard at that price?

All told, the shopping, the hat (see blurry photo at the top), and the event were a big hit. Lockview was packed. Dave and I got our photo taken in front of the sparkly prom-like background, and we had a great time celebrating the big anniversary with friends. In some ways, it felt like our anniversary too since Lockview has become such a mainstay for us. It’s not only our place for dinner at least once a week, it’s also been the home of the Akron Writers Group for a year now.

And, and, and Lockview is introducing a super-genius grilled cheese — mashed potatos and cheese on sourdough with a side of gravy for dipping. Serious yum. With this new item on the menu, I know I’ll never be able to shove my hips in a 40s dress.